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I like to imagine all of this like flying on a plane with an intense fear of heights.  The anticipation as you check your bags, deal with the mother fuckers from security who make you take off your belt and wave a wand over your naughty bits; the downtime.  You sit at your gate waiting for the plane to arrive.

Then you see it.  A plane taxis up to the jet bridge with the slow massive confidence of a continent.  Everyone begins to stand and crowd toward the gate, shuffling through their belongings to find the paperwork that proves they belong on this vessel; this plane that each of you will be a part of.

You board the plane and those fortunate enough to have a window seat look out as the incumbent luggage is belted out.  Then the new luggage is belted in.  People shuffle past you and try to fit shit into the over head bins that should have been riding the luggage belt outside.


You wait.

And then it begins to happen.  Reverse.  The plane moves.  A nervousness builds inside your lower tummy, Jesus Christ… This is really happening.  Maybe you close your eyes.  Maybe you say a small prayer.

There’s some clinking and clunking.  The flight attendant comes over the intercom and begins to asseverate some protocol that you may need if the plane crashes.  And now all you’re thinking about is the plane crashing.

Moving forward now.  The wings bounce just outside the window and you wonder if there’s a chance of them falling off should you hit turbulence in the air.  Too late to get off now.  You lean your head back and close  your eyes again.

You feel the plane turn and then slow to a stop.  This is it.  A ‘bee-boop’ happens over the intercom.  The flight attendant sits down and buckles in.  The engine makes some weird shift from on to ‘on-on?’  You don’t know how planes work.

The vessel begins to move, slowly at first.  Then faster and faster and faster.  You feel the subtle jerks left and right as the plane picks up speed on the run way.

It feels like the plane drops it’s ass real low.

And then…


Years from now, will we remember that it was a rainy day in Washington when President Donald J. Trump was sworn into office?  Or will we remember everyone wondering, is this it for America?

I haven’t fact checked this, but apparently President Trump’s new slogan is Keep America Great.  Which, I learned through gifs is also the slogan for the movie Purge:  Election Year. Now that may scare some people, but I personally think that’s awesome.  Cause what are the chances right?

Like, God forbid we have a purge, but I like to think of myself as someone who appreciates irony.  Even if it means armageddon.


In case you didn’t believe me.

Okay, but really.  The time for jokes are over.  As of today, Donald Trump is the President of the United States.  And truth be told, what’s most jarring are his picks for cabinet members.  The entire world has been covering this clusterfuck of politics for the past couple of months and it sort of all came to heel this past week.

We have to give these people the benefit of the doubt, and let me tell you; the doubt is a tidal wave.

Apparently, President Trump is taking office with a 32% approval rating, which is weird in my opinion because we did elect the guy.  Did everyone just jump ship with the New Year?

This post isn’t about dissent though.  There’s enough of that.

Nothing’s broken yet, and given Trump has only been president for a couple seconds in the scheme of things, he’s off to a pretty good start to be responsible for 320,000,000 people.  Joking not joking.

In one of my college courses, a professor called President Bill Clinton a war criminal; and one of the students who was active duty started this whole argument that ended in him calling the professor an asshole, because – and I quote here, “I may not like the President, but he’s the President.”


Who know’s what will happen in the next four years.  Regardless, we witnessed history today – no matter what kind of president he ends as.  The next four years are going to be ‘lit’ as some might say.  So here’s to hoping planes don’t crash.