So I figured I’d take a little time to reflect in this weeks post: you know, step back and really ruminate on people and myself. But mainly what I hate about people … and you know… myself.
Because let’s face it. We’re dicks.
And some of these dickhead qualities in myself and others sort of drive me insane so I figured I’d just point them out here so that you can never say I didn’t tell you, whoever you are.
Okay, so this one is a more recent development – but apparently I say “huh?” Whenever people say something, even though I heard them. Now of course, I know I do it but once you’ve made a habit of something it’s not going away easy.
I didn’t think it was such a big deal. And for the most part it’s not, until people noticed that I heard them because I cut them off right when they’ve begun to repeat themselves.
Most of the time, I’m just trying to think of something funny or witty to respond with. Sure, I could just leave the rapport at an awkward silence until I’m ready to reply, but why not just make the person repeat themselves and fill the void, ammirite?
I would’ve never guessed that this would piss people off so much, but whenever they catch on I can tell just by how they’re looking at me that they want to punch me in the god damn throat. So I should probably stop soon. Lest I end up punched in the face.
I get it people, I really do. It’s 2016 and the advent of cell phones and all the things they can do is a modern marvel that we should revel in. And I’m on board the new age train as much as anyone, cause when you got skin in the game you stay in the game.
But every time someone pulls out their cell phone and tries to show me a video I just want to go on a killing spree for the entire duration of the video.
I’m not even sure why it brings my blood to an absolute boil. If I had to take a guess, it’s because I’m a 90s kid who remembers a time when you had to describe what you saw on WWE last night. We didn’t have smartphones or the internet ( to it’s current potential) or instant access to information for that matter.
Sure, I appreciate information at our fingertips, but the asinine use! Like most of the time it’s either not as funny as the person thought it would be or I’ve seen it before. Cause honestly, who didn’t see the video of the lady trying to trampoline down a slide? Like an asshole.
Okay, admittedly this is one of those ‘say it’s a weakness even though you believe it’s a strength’ deals. But another bad habit that I have is being needlessly argumentative. Like we might be talking about your favorite fast-food restaurant and a few minutes later, it’s escalated to “fuck Ronald and the horse he rode in on.”
I’ve been called combative, argumentative, ornery, oh boy. You name it and I’m disagreeable. I liked the third Matrix movie, Taylor Swift is America’s sweetheart, Trump would be hilarious in a State of the Union address, and it’s hard not to laugh when someone yells ‘faggot’ across the room.
Do I believe the stuff I’m saying most of the time? Nah man.
But hear me out.
I think seeing how someone argues is a great way to get to know them. It used to be, “you don’t truly know a man until you fight him,” but we don’t carry swords anymore and I’m not about to have a shoot out in the Jersey City streets, Hamilton style, to see if I can trust a man. Or woman.
But you have to admit: when you argue, you apply real thinking to a topic. Most of the time it’s just a chess game of wit, but you get to see a persons logic full throttle. Especially if you’ve got them to care about what they’re arguing. …However, you run the risk of pissing them off for real. I take risks. And when it comes to pissing people off, baby, business is booming.
So yeah, it’s probably a bad habit.
Let’s just think about people that over-occupy space for a second. No, seriously. Over. Occupy. Space.
By now you might be thinking, What does he mean?
Imagine with me: You’re in a hurry.
New York City streets, and some tourist family is spread the length of the sidewalk, walking at a fucking leisurely pace. Impossible to get around them, but you aren’t rude enough to nudge between them. Or! …you’re walking down a grocery store aisle and some jerk is standing in the center of a two-way walking lane, obliviously bent over staring at the bountiful selection of mayonnaise as you debate whether or not to push your shopping cart into them, full sprint, and break them the fuck in half.
Point being, occupying space that you could easily consolidate so that you’re not in the way.
Like god dammit.
Nothing pushes me closer to murder than someone who just stands smack dab in the middle of life – that just has to go on around them because their stupid ass doesn’t get that they’re living in some sort of no-spin zone where the world just operates around them.
Honestly, I’m getting angry thinking about it.
I’ve worked myself up.
Being real though, I have so many more bad habits and pet peeves. But why dwell on the negative, folks? Obviously I’m going to continue on this tangent in another blog post, but I have a Tuesday to tough out, annoyances to weather, bad habits to exude, pet peeves to get over… Basically, a life to live, like everybody else.
So let today’s rage begin bubbling up!