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young-adults-old-funny-facebook-coverWhat is a quarter life crisis?

An excellent question – and you’re in luck because I’m dedicating this very blog post to the subject – because in truth there are people who are going through the more famous midlife crisis who might say that the topic at hand doesn’t truly exist.

Let the youth have their day!  We don’t come to YOUR birthday parties and blow out YOUR candles on YOUR cake!


I get it, I’m young and dumb and my youthful disregard means that I believe I know it all and I haven’t been around the block like my elders and seniors and the decrepit and deceased; but let’s (for the sake of argument) pretend that there is a such thing as a quarter life crisis and explore what that might look like?  C’mon, it could be fun.

Surely you have seen the quote, “We ask 18-year-olds to make huge decisions about their career and financial future when a month ago they had to ask to go to the bathroom,” by Adam Kotsko?

That’s an example of best case scenario in the beginning of a quarter life crisis.  Because it assumes that pseudo-adults are at least being pragmatic about their life, probably enrolled in college or some technical school or got a job that will allow them to learn a trade and actively contribute to society.

But everyone knows at least one person from their hometown who’s still actively trying to be a rapper, right?

Because the truth is that if half of the people going through a quarter life crisis are on the right path, which is a generous assumption, then the other half is doing rock-bottom bad.

I just read an excellent blog about The Age of Wisdumb where the topic of concern is how dismissive society has become to things like creativity, self-betterment, generally constructive purpose, and – you know – just common sense in general.

At one point in The Age of Wisdumb the writer talks about how people are changing the Facebook job titles to straight up nonsense, like “BOSS at GETTIN DAT MONEY”


Break:  For real, if you haven’t already and you’re reading this; you should check out Storytime with John.  You won’t be disappointed.

Anyway, back to you regular scheduled programming:  the point I’m trying to make is that the quarter mark may not be the hardest part of life, but I have to think that it’s the most pivotal.  Heck, it’s where most people are deciding what they want to be; who they want to be it with; and how exactly they’re supposed to be while being it.

It almost makes me upset with my parents for making me exist.  Like, they just decided to make a person one day?  Who’s gonna pay my bills?  Me?  I didn’t ask for this.

It’s funny, I’ll make a comment like, “Geez.  I’m so stressed right now cause of finals.” And along comes a real adult to say, “Listen here son, you don’t know stress until you’re cleaning your two-year-olds shit off the floor, worrying about the how the light bill is gonna be paid, and maintaining your marriage to a wife who’s going through menopause and complaining about how no one helps her around the house.”

But in the same breath, can ask when I’m getting married, or if I’ve got any kids on the way, or what I plan on doing with my life – like those aren’t fucking large concepts to be balancing while I’m washing disposable bowls that I just ate fruity pebbles out of with a fork because: college.

I don’t know, maybe what I’m really getting at is 18-30 year olds get a bad rap about having these stress free wonderful lives.  Really, a quarter life crisis is this gateway period where you’re pretending to be an adult; your hormones are all over the place; you’re supposed to figure out love and life; and all the while you’re in this high stakes poker game when no one really taught you how to play.

We’re like these dreamers who haven’t let the sobering face of reality drag us down yet, but every day it’s a new bowl of ramen that tastes like ‘I don’t get paid until next Wednesday’ to push us ever closer to the brink of accepting adulthood.

Because let’s face it, even the real adults only got one crack at it and whatever they got wrong or right they had to live with for the rest of their lives.